what can i do next ?

Saturday, September 12, 2009 ; 10:16:00 AM♥

was it the right choice ?

i couldnt sleep all night .. i was thinking of what happened between those 2 "siblings" im really losing my trust in him .. i think .. its because of what happened .. of what i found out .. i really dont know .. like what i just posted not long ago on facebook :

just saw not long ago : cherish what you have , or end up regretting . and i agree with whats written there .. no matter who they are , or what they are , whether they are your enemies , friends , good friends , best friends , families , anyone relat...ed to you , something / someone special to you , or that someone that means alot to you , CHERISH THEM ALL .. dont wait till you lose them then you start regretting .. by then , everything will be too late ..

it was pointing right at him .. whether he knows it or not , whether he bothers to read it or not ..

im really doubting his love for me .. i dont know if he still loves me anymore .. but i still love him .. thats for sure .. i know that all along ..

but then .. what hapened on monday , that i just found out last night , i really cant believe that he actually did that to theodora ..

if he doesnt know it , im telling him right now , through here , that i consider it as that he has betrayed me just by doing that ..

hugging her .. she is my good friend .. and yet he did that to her .. at his house .. im really disappointed in him , and im also angry with him .. just with that .. he doesnt know how much he has hurt me .. i dont want to do exageratting here , right here , right now , but .. i really cant take it in .. why did he do that .. doesnt he know that it will hurt me when i find out ?

im really questioning myself .. does he really love me ? or was it all a fake ? im really confused with all these .. what happened between them is pushing me to believe the others that he doesnt love me at all ..

which side should i side on ? i really dont know .. some say he didnt give his best in the relationship .. some say he isnt faithful at all .. some say that i should hang on , and press on , because he really loves me .. i really dont know ..

i hope things changes .. for the better .. but if .. if things goes to the worse , the most extreme , and when i really cant take it in anymore , i'll really have to give it up .. giving him up .. will be the last choice .. i really dont want things to go that bad , i dont want to give him up .. he is my only hope left for me .. if i destroy it .. i would really be nothing .. but i cant just hope for it .. i had to do something . that something to prove things .. but .. how are things gonna work ?

maybe that plan would work ..