what can i do next ?

Monday, November 2, 2009 ; 6:39:00 PM♥

was it the right choice ?

i know its a little late to talk bout this , but i passed all my subjects !! except for DnT =Di didnt give a damn bout DnT =DD hahahah =) even though its boarderline passes , i still did improve since mid year !!! =) mid year i only passed math , chinese , art , home econs .. and failed english , science , geography , history and literature !! now i passed english , chinese , math , science , geography , history , literature , art !! (= hehe (= at least i improved (= and i got promoted to sec 3 express =D hehe =D anna won me by 0.2% just because she passed mid year history overall and i didnt .. and now she passed everything in overall while i failed history by 3 marks !! and just because of that i lost to anna by 1 rank in class and by 0.2% D= my overall was 54.9% and hers was 55.1% !! her ranking was 14 and mine 15 !! huixin got 19 because of not up to standard results .. she was still crying because of it ..zoe's positon was last in class .. and we're in the last express class .. which means that she failed her overall and is transferred to NA i somehow now thinks that she deserves it .. she didnt even put in any effort in studying .. and she only studies only when her mum forces to .. even when her mum gives her the work to do , she didnt even do it herself . i mean , she did write the answers in , but all the answers are all she ask anna for it .. and when anna realised that it wasnt school work that zoe sked the answers for , she luaghed and immediately hung up the phone .. i really find her very hypocrative .. she is just a hypocrite .. she was complaining to me that she did study and then anna and huixin just didnt believe her , but the truth is that she didnt all ! and there were even more cases like that .. i used to think that it was because she couldnt cope thats why she's bound to drop to NA , but in fact , all she did at home was just watching anime .. and she didnt even bother to listen to us and study , she is just lazy .. she is actually smart .. by the way she twists her words from huixin and anna to me , she is naturally smart .. she thinks that if she drops to NA , we will drop with her .. but thats not the case .. we were all promoted to sec 3 express while she is the only one out of the 4 of us who's promoted to sec 3 NA .. all she knows is laziness and watching her anime , i know this will sound bad but , she copys people's style and character .. she copies from those whom who she thinks is popular and whatsoever .. she doesnt have her owmn style and character .. i mean , i know all these sound really bad , but thats huixin anna and i think .. its just that i say what we all think here .. and for me , and that we 3 agree , that she sticks to people whom she thinks is popular or whatsoever just not to be lonely .. and for 1 more thing , she CANNOT keep secrets .. thats for sure .. i have nothing else much to say .. so i'll stop here ..

; 2:01:00 PM♥

was it the right choice ?

HOLIDAYS ARE HERE !! :) then again , when the the holidays arent here , you wish for them to come .. but when they're here , you are really bored are wished they're not around .. all the goods and bads of holidays ... i want to spend more time with anna , huixin , mandy , eileen , cheryl , and phoebe .. but phoebe is in the US already .. im starting to miss ger already .. i bet half the hyperness would be gone during training or when the lame family is hanging out tgt .. i wiill be missing her alot .. i am already missing her .. :( but what to do ? she is already at US .. cant do anything lerh .. how lehs ? haha ..

i miss him too .. i cant do anything bout it too .. we're not tgt already .. i dont know if ehe still loves me .. but .. still , i still love him .. and i miss him .. im still hoping to get back with him .. i dont even know if its possible .. we're gone because of his parents and teachers and his study pressure .. i dont know if its possible for a get-back .. i hope there is .. many people are telling me to get over him get on with life .. but for now , i just cant .. because i cant .. even telling anna there wasnt really much of a difference after i broke up with him is a lie .. i cry to bed everynight .. for the fact that i cant do anything further than that .. it may be better for him .. but not for me .. i dont want him to know that im sad and not happy over it .. he wants me to be happy .. but i just cant .. he was my greatest possesion in life and i have to give it up .. for his sake .. though im willing to give it up for his happiness , his better well-off life without me .. i cant bear to .. but i still did .. unwillingly .. i really hope that i can get back with him .. though i said i didnt want to be in the same class as him next year , it was all a lie ..

but .. anna just keep saying that jingting likes me and that its obvious .. i just cant help but not believe it .. someone tell me the right facts whether jingting likes me anot .. im really getting really frustrated .. some says yes and some says no .. i dont know which one to believe too .. and i just cant help not caring .. because he is one of the greatest enemy in my life ..
and all he does is just irritating me .