what can i do next ?

Friday, January 29, 2010 ; 9:41:00 PM♥

was it the right choice ?

he deleted me on facebook . i know i didnt post for a very long time , so i will post now .. recently , many things happened .. from christmas till now .. i had no time to come here .. and i cant post all the little feelings i've had .. there were really many things .. small and big , happy and sad , heart warming and heart breaking .. i will maybe tell more about these things next time , or anyone just come ask me lorh .. the biggest thing is that we OFFICAILLY BROKE-UP . all before then was acting . it was on 20 january , 07:38 pm . i will forever remember it . because that is the longest relationship i've ever had . the best too . but it still has to go . no use holding unto something that can never last . that relationship wasnt going anywhere .. so might as well let it go . it may or may not be a better thing in the near future .. but for now , its really hard for me .. and we're even in the same chinese class . how am i supposed to get over this ? im really trying really hard .. i know this is really hard .. but i cannot let this drag .. we have NO FUTURE together . its really obvious .. but i've heard people commenting about that relationship .. i liked mandy's opinion about it .. but was it true ? we may not seem compatible because of our stubborness ? but its because of our stubborness then we were for each other ? mandy has seen the relationship from the inside out .. she said , she saw how we acted tgt , when we're alone .. how we talked to each other .. how blissful we looked .. but it is all over . im not supposed to contact him , and he's supposed to stop contacting me , to block off all relations he has with me . maybe thats why he deleted me on facebook .. i dunno .. im really lost about .. i want to know how he feels about it but i have no way to find out . i cant msg him , i cant call him , i cant send him messages through facebook .. i cant have anything to do with him .. when i want to .. im really lost .. i feel seriously empty .. i dont know what to fill the emptiness with .. i dont know what i can do .. is acting cheerful the only way out of my misery ?